Oh dear, just wrote a lovely comment but in the attempt to edit grammar accidentally deleted it-. Too late and too tired to renew those thoughts but thanks Jan for allowing me space to speak.
Dear Susan, I did receive your comment - even though it vanished from here- and my heart has received your words. This is a tumultuous time and your grieving is complicated by family. I moved in with my father to help with his transition and truly this was a profound experience. And then to do it in your childhood home as you did, to return and complete the circle with your mother, this is a beautiful thing which few have the privilege to do. But it is not easy and comes with sacrifice, conscious or not. You helped birth your mother into new life just as she birthed you into this one.
I am glad you feel your home inside you, that you carry within a grounding to keep you centered in this storm. Be kind to yourself, gentle and protective.
At my age I value peace and quiet more than I ever thought I would.
No longer a landlord and only working two days a week during the winter, it's a treat to read, nap, do a crossword. No wife, girlfriend or other roommate.
I share with you a gratitude for single life! No one snoring next to me :)
This quiet and solitude, however, is it new? Does it have any roots in your childhood? Or was yours a quiet house too (which is a uncommon with siblings!)?
I love this post. We are preparing for my husband's early retirement and upcoming permanent move to a tiny town in Italy. We are leaving for a week at our home there...and though my kids, my dogs, and all my stuff is here...in Texas...we already think of our little Italian casa as 'home.' My father no longer lives where I grew up - going there isn't going home for me, especially since my mom died several years ago. So I've been thinking a lot about the construct of 'home', especially now that my children are beginning to leave the nest. For me, home is where we go to gather together...regardless of location.
Oh Kari! AUGURI!!!! how fantastic that your husband is retiring and you have bought a home in Italy! Where? Have you applied for or received your visa yet? We are on similar tracks so I am quite curious about your experience.
As for home... there is nothing else quite like losing our mother, since mom is our very first home. And then if your father no longer lives where you grew up, there is nothing to ground you to that place. There is much to ponder when we consider home, which again fills me with questions about your decision to move to Italy and where you chose. But for the moment, I will ask only this: if home is where we gather together, are you expecting that your children will visit you w/ some consistency or that you will return to the states regularly to see them?
I feel like my own skin is finally home, this soft, vulnerable, imperfect female body, and that's a pretty amazing feeling after 51 years.
Ah yes! how wonderful! It took me decades to feel this as well!
Home for me will always be the house I grew up in. No matter what life I make for mysel or with whom, I don't think that feeling will change.
Does the house still exist? Do you still have access to it?
Oh dear, just wrote a lovely comment but in the attempt to edit grammar accidentally deleted it-. Too late and too tired to renew those thoughts but thanks Jan for allowing me space to speak.
Dear Susan, I did receive your comment - even though it vanished from here- and my heart has received your words. This is a tumultuous time and your grieving is complicated by family. I moved in with my father to help with his transition and truly this was a profound experience. And then to do it in your childhood home as you did, to return and complete the circle with your mother, this is a beautiful thing which few have the privilege to do. But it is not easy and comes with sacrifice, conscious or not. You helped birth your mother into new life just as she birthed you into this one.
I am glad you feel your home inside you, that you carry within a grounding to keep you centered in this storm. Be kind to yourself, gentle and protective.
At my age I value peace and quiet more than I ever thought I would.
No longer a landlord and only working two days a week during the winter, it's a treat to read, nap, do a crossword. No wife, girlfriend or other roommate.
Being single rocks!
I share with you a gratitude for single life! No one snoring next to me :)
This quiet and solitude, however, is it new? Does it have any roots in your childhood? Or was yours a quiet house too (which is a uncommon with siblings!)?
I love this post. We are preparing for my husband's early retirement and upcoming permanent move to a tiny town in Italy. We are leaving for a week at our home there...and though my kids, my dogs, and all my stuff is here...in Texas...we already think of our little Italian casa as 'home.' My father no longer lives where I grew up - going there isn't going home for me, especially since my mom died several years ago. So I've been thinking a lot about the construct of 'home', especially now that my children are beginning to leave the nest. For me, home is where we go to gather together...regardless of location.
Oh Kari! AUGURI!!!! how fantastic that your husband is retiring and you have bought a home in Italy! Where? Have you applied for or received your visa yet? We are on similar tracks so I am quite curious about your experience.
As for home... there is nothing else quite like losing our mother, since mom is our very first home. And then if your father no longer lives where you grew up, there is nothing to ground you to that place. There is much to ponder when we consider home, which again fills me with questions about your decision to move to Italy and where you chose. But for the moment, I will ask only this: if home is where we gather together, are you expecting that your children will visit you w/ some consistency or that you will return to the states regularly to see them?