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Kathy Glennon's avatar

First, hope you are feeling better.

Loved the article. The courage to do the hard thing.

Thank you for the work you did during the aids crisis. It’s so easy to forget that time.

So many thoughts triggered….how do I convince my wife that full retirement doesn’t work for me. I’m working less…she’d prefer I work not at all. Working on my courage. This year was the one more year ( part time)…I don’t want it to be the last. So…right now I am working on building up my courage. Working doesn’t interfere with out traveling, going away in the winter … sorry..rambling thoughts,

Be well. Safe travels.

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Jan Peppler's avatar

Ah thats a tough one. Here’s the thing: if we aren’t true to ourselves, how can our loved ones be assured that we are also being true to them? An honest loving relationship requires that we are honest about what makes us happy. If you find joy and fulfillment in continuing to work part time, that actually needs to be celebrated. This makes you a happier and emotionally rich person for not only your wife, but all your relationships.

When I was a massage therapist, I often said women need to take care of themselves first in order to be healthy and whole for others. And if we don’t do this, what we are giving is only a fragment of ourselves. Possibly the same applies here with you working part time. And I do believe as women we struggle with this more, because we are encultured at a very young age to take care of everyone else, and care about everyone else’s feelings above our own. The world and yes even your wife really does need you to be fully authentic. And if that includes working a little instead of complete retirement, well, I hope you do that.

Thanks for your kind words. 🧡

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Karen Tate's avatar

I so resonated with how potent it can be to leave the familiar...and the quote about the best gift we can give another is our own transformation. Reflects back. On my abuse book and how it came to be. Feel better!

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Jan Peppler's avatar

Thanks, Karen. And yes to your book! So important. ❤️

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Alison R's avatar

Beautiful post, Jan! Miss you, and am so grateful for you. I hope you get well soon.

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Jan Peppler's avatar

Thank you, Alison. Ditto. Miss you and I miss Tulsa. Ci vediamo presto, I hope! ❤️

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RenoQueen's avatar

Life is hard and decisions are hard but reading this is encouragement for people and start making a change. People forget that change ca be very small. The vision can be big but the starting point needs to be small and manageable and towards something larger. Each small step needs to take you towards the goal and anything that doesn't needs to get cut. It took me a long time to understand and still trying to figure it out. Jan wishing you luck as you navigate the challenges and hope you are on the mend. Thank you for sharing this story.

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Jan Peppler's avatar

Thank you so much. I used to have something taped to a cabinet that read, "Ask yourself what is really important and then have the wisdom & courage to build your life around your answer." As you say, cut out the things that are just fillers and distract from what's important. Small changes add up. The interesting thing for me is that I rarely have the vision (I think that's covered in my post "Can You See It?") I have a hunch, a feeling. The advice of "vision it" rarely works for me. But I've learned to trust the feeling, the push, the tug and just put one foot in front of the other and eventually, yes, it comes into focus!

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RenoQueen's avatar

The note taped to the cabinet is a both motivational and a smart approach. I struggle with the vision part too because it is big, lofty and overwhelming, If one is a practical person, far fetched imagination often doesn't resonate. But you found "your way" which is all that matters. I will read the the vision post.

I went read the post and remember that I attempted to read it. But then realized there was a lot to it and I needed to set aside the time to absorb it properly.

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Susan Fusco-Fazio's avatar

You are one strong woman! I am in awe of you more and more with every new post! Feel better. Stay awake , but please also get some rest and sleep- to restore yourself- before you recharge. 🥰🙏

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Jan Peppler's avatar

Thank you. You are kind. Yes, I desperately need to just rest. I had hoped to do more of that here but... well, every day I spend in bed (only 2 full days, separated by 2 days), feels like a wasted day when my time here is short. Only a few more days to go. And fortunately, I scheduled an appointment with an ENT specialist for the day after I arrive home!

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Rachel Stevens's avatar

I hear ya. That same sort of drive has shaped my life. For better, or worse. But it's been something.

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Jan Peppler's avatar

Yes, I can absolutely see that. Sister spirit. Something keeps pulling us forward.

hey, let me know when you make it back to the WRV. Would love to see you.

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Peggy Weaver's avatar

Beautiful post, and timely too, as always. Heal. Blessings dear friend. Much love.

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Jan Peppler's avatar

Thank you, friend 🧡

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Joan DeMartin's avatar

Do take care of yourself, Jan! Your life sounds incredibly hectic...at east to me! I didn't know you spent that amount of time helping HIV patients—you are incredibly strong and brave. As Kathy said below, it is easy to forget that time. I can picture you running through an airport (I've done that in my time), but only because I was the one who was late. My two cents: Take the cab—you'll never miss the money and your body will thank you!

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Jan Peppler's avatar

Thank you. As for the cab, in this case, it was almost as much as the room and…. It’s not just principal or frugality, it’s the equation. I could spend a night in a hotel for that price. I could take my friend to dinner. So many things. I’m not cheap, I just couldn’t justify the cost if I wasn’t actually doubled over in pain or sickness 😜

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Francine Casalino Laura's avatar

Your writings continue to amaze me!

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Jan Peppler's avatar

Wow, that’s quite a compliment! Grazie!

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