Beautifully written and from the heart, as always, Jan. I had a lovely two parent house-hold and my mother, by that time, did not work outside the home (I remember the nights of chop suey, though!) She did put a meal on the table every weeknight, but my Dad was the real cook in the family and managed to make great meals every Saturday and Sunday. We were a food-centric house. All was well until my Dad died suddenly from a massive heart attack when I had just entered my senior year of high school. Devastating for my mother and me— he was only 54 and as we said back then, "the picture of health". So then we became a single-parent household. These are the things that shape our lives...
Oh my goodness, Joan! To have your father died when you were so young is, indeed, devastating. What wonderful memories while he was still alive! My father was actually the better cook as well. And I guess chop Suey must’ve been in fashion when we were young. Lol. Ah, but carrying on, picking up the pieces after your father died, and it being just you and your mom…. Did that impact your further choices like where to go to college?
Wow, did you hit the nail on the head! I had by plans for a really good school... instead went to Ohio State where lots of my high school friends were going so I could hitch a ride. Not bad, but not what I had in mind for myself.
So this is why we are kindred spirits, who knew. Your story could have been mine. First, your mom is beautiful, as was mine. My biological father left the three of us and her when I was a baby. My mom had no real job skills, had to move back from Iowa to Chicago and move in with her parents. She learned secretarial skills at the local Y, eventually went to work for Kraft Foods and ended up as the assistant to the President of the company, working alongside Sallianne Kraft, the last of the family name.
Like you, there was a lot going on in those years. She eventually remarried, and he adopted us and we changed our names, after my first year at Luther. That confused all my friends!!!! But those years were both challenging, and awesome. We kids never went without a meal, or a roof over our heads. She provided all we needed. She left me with one core value, never, ever, give up, at anything.
Thank you so much for sharing this, Kent. My father adopted my siblings and their names changed. I’ve never asked them about that. I wonder what that was like for them. And here’s to our moms! Our strong moms that led by example. 🧡💪
Plus how cool that she worked directly with a Kraft!
Oops - elbow bump! The more we can shake off that old “broken family” bosh so people in unhappy marriages have the courage to leave, the better. From a divorced single mom. Beautiful post.
My parents were married for almost 40 years until my mom's death. My mom only cooked two things as well: homemade spaghetti sauce and consomme rice. My dad did the grocery shopping and kept us fed. I always find it fascinating, the small ways that women "rebelled" during the times when mothers and wives were expected to be a certain way. I love that your mother stood up for your family to the principal! Look how far we've come in accepting that families can look different and all be valued, thanks to women like her.
I haven't had Carl Buddig lunch meat in probably three decades but I will never forget the taste of many, many lunch sandwiches made by my dad!
I love that family portrait! While we're all imperfect, I don't see a shred of brokenness there.
Aw, thanks, Ashleigh! No brokenness indeed. And yes, we each have our "stuff".
And thanks for sharing some of your family. My father was the family cook as well, though each of us kids also had to cook one meal a week (can't remember if I mention that in this piece). And I have to smile knowing that you had Buddig sandwiches as well! Forty years is a long run! Sounds like maybe you learned some positive - and alternative - things about sustaining long-term relationships from them. Great role models.
Beautifully written and from the heart, as always, Jan. I had a lovely two parent house-hold and my mother, by that time, did not work outside the home (I remember the nights of chop suey, though!) She did put a meal on the table every weeknight, but my Dad was the real cook in the family and managed to make great meals every Saturday and Sunday. We were a food-centric house. All was well until my Dad died suddenly from a massive heart attack when I had just entered my senior year of high school. Devastating for my mother and me— he was only 54 and as we said back then, "the picture of health". So then we became a single-parent household. These are the things that shape our lives...
Oh my goodness, Joan! To have your father died when you were so young is, indeed, devastating. What wonderful memories while he was still alive! My father was actually the better cook as well. And I guess chop Suey must’ve been in fashion when we were young. Lol. Ah, but carrying on, picking up the pieces after your father died, and it being just you and your mom…. Did that impact your further choices like where to go to college?
Wow, did you hit the nail on the head! I had by plans for a really good school... instead went to Ohio State where lots of my high school friends were going so I could hitch a ride. Not bad, but not what I had in mind for myself.
That’s not surprising. After such an upset in your life, you needed to stay closer to home. For yourself and for your mom. Is your mom still alive?
No, unfortunately. She died over 20 years ago... I dream about her a lot, though.
I’m sorry. Both your parents left too soon.
Both of mine are gone as well.
So this is why we are kindred spirits, who knew. Your story could have been mine. First, your mom is beautiful, as was mine. My biological father left the three of us and her when I was a baby. My mom had no real job skills, had to move back from Iowa to Chicago and move in with her parents. She learned secretarial skills at the local Y, eventually went to work for Kraft Foods and ended up as the assistant to the President of the company, working alongside Sallianne Kraft, the last of the family name.
Like you, there was a lot going on in those years. She eventually remarried, and he adopted us and we changed our names, after my first year at Luther. That confused all my friends!!!! But those years were both challenging, and awesome. We kids never went without a meal, or a roof over our heads. She provided all we needed. She left me with one core value, never, ever, give up, at anything.
Thank you so much for sharing this, Kent. My father adopted my siblings and their names changed. I’ve never asked them about that. I wonder what that was like for them. And here’s to our moms! Our strong moms that led by example. 🧡💪
Plus how cool that she worked directly with a Kraft!
Jan, I loved this piece! Thank you for bringing well deserved light and credit to single-parent families.
Thank you, Claudia. You certainly have your own experience of being a single mom. And you did Great! ❤️
Thank you for this lovely post! Hv
Oops - elbow bump! The more we can shake off that old “broken family” bosh so people in unhappy marriages have the courage to leave, the better. From a divorced single mom. Beautiful post.
My parents were married for almost 40 years until my mom's death. My mom only cooked two things as well: homemade spaghetti sauce and consomme rice. My dad did the grocery shopping and kept us fed. I always find it fascinating, the small ways that women "rebelled" during the times when mothers and wives were expected to be a certain way. I love that your mother stood up for your family to the principal! Look how far we've come in accepting that families can look different and all be valued, thanks to women like her.
I haven't had Carl Buddig lunch meat in probably three decades but I will never forget the taste of many, many lunch sandwiches made by my dad!
I love that family portrait! While we're all imperfect, I don't see a shred of brokenness there.
Aw, thanks, Ashleigh! No brokenness indeed. And yes, we each have our "stuff".
And thanks for sharing some of your family. My father was the family cook as well, though each of us kids also had to cook one meal a week (can't remember if I mention that in this piece). And I have to smile knowing that you had Buddig sandwiches as well! Forty years is a long run! Sounds like maybe you learned some positive - and alternative - things about sustaining long-term relationships from them. Great role models.