CJ, I apologize for not seeing your post earlier!! Not sure how that happened.
Thank you so much for your comment. No coffee needed - your response means more to me than money. I'm not sure exactly what you mean about help in navigating your 60s but you may find the Substack, seventysomething, to speak to you and the things you are experiencing at this time. https://susiekaufman.substack.com/ Susie is a former chaplain and writes soulfully about navigating this third chapter in our lives. Her posts are really good. If you like my writing, I'm sure you'll find tremendous value in hers.
Jan, I always look forward to reading your posts. I was hooked from the beginning on your home theme since I struggle with my own moves and how it home became a more loaded issue after my profound loss. I also simply enjoy the way you write and how its so relatable. I felt your angst along with you on some of your tougher shares. I loved being on your Italy house journey too. I am invested in you, as a person, and the writer. And yes-I am reading this on my phone. But I am reading a book almost monthly and savor that time, usually in the mornings to George Winston or Miles Davis vinyl records on my portable record player. My cat Sophie sits nearby. I just love a real book too. No kindle for me. But I am happy to read the substack by phone, though I am behind as you are. Its hard to fit it all in! I was so happy to see your shout out to me on my Blue sunflower! Thank you! Thank you from my heart. You reading my posts means a lot to me, and recommending me is-wow! Be well! 🙏
Thank you, Susan. I appreciate your kind words. And I am humbled. I have lost a lot of loved ones, both my parents and all my 'elders' - those who truly defined home for me - but losing a child, that is a profound loss all its own. I can only imagine how that has been for you. Thank you for taking me on your journey and for joining me on mine.
btw, George Winston and Miles Davis - two of my favorites!
Jan, I love your writing - your clarity, thoughtfulness, and authenticity, and the sheer beauty of your prose. When I began reading your newsletter, I was curious. How is it possible to run an entire newsletter on the subject of home, I wondered. So I began reading, and the more I read your writing, the more I loved it. Each new post brings new thoughts, new perspectives, and I enjoy that.
And I identify with much of what you write.
As for reading per se, that’s almost as essential to me as breathing. So this post, in particular, truly resonated with me.
And the best part? I have found a friend in you. ❤️
First of all, thank you for the shout out. My reading has changed a great deal in recent years. I used to read only fiction. And now it’s almost exclusively non-fiction --particularly memoirs and personal essays. On top of that, there are two Canadian newspapers plus the New York Times and several Substacks that compete for my interest every day. When I walk I listen to Podcasts. To be honest, it’s so much information that I don’t find it relaxing. I once did.
Alice, I can so relate to your last comment!! I think you summarized my dilemma! The cozy couch reading I long for is relaxing. It’s being swept away into a different world. While I enjoy all the substacks that I read, each is definitely grounded in this world and my reality. I care about the authors and their experiences. And then the news...
Interesting. Perhaps the struggle is not a new one- just disguised. Balancing my love and concern for others (tho *other* doesn’t exist, for the world then) with caring for myself. Always so much more difficult than we think.
Of course, I enjoy your content, but it’s the vehicle of your prose that brings me your content. Simply, I enjoy the way you write, it flows to me, it’s easy to read and illustrates your content. Keep truckin!
Ah, the mention of lost parents and lost elders leads me to suggest a subject for your “Home.” I’ll be 83 in 60 days, my father died of a heart attack and when I was 35, my mother 6 years later, and now all elders are gone. We often talk of the grief at the time of those losses, and of the missing and the nostalgia of times gone by, but a wonderful friend and former boss who then lived in London wrote me a hand written letter of understanding at that time as he too had lost a father at a similar time in his life.
He observed an old saying which is still good and true in many facets of my life. He said, “A man (gender is irrelevant) doesn’t really become a man until his father dies.” A man then takes a mantel previously afforded only to those his senior. It comes to our shoulders, wisdom begins, responsibility is realized, new doors are opened as loss is accepted. It’s true to me even when the many of my pets pass, a new puppy soon appears. It does not diminish the loss but it certainly transfers a man’s relationship to the “bucket.” Another old boss observed to me when I received a business promotion into the “officer” rank of a public company, he said, “Phil, all of our employees need a place to set their bucket down. You are now a bucket stand. New doors were opened in both instances, they opened as they could not have before the loss. So, loss is a beginning, when grief resides, open the new door it afforded you! So I wax!
Your article is really speaking to my mind! In the past, I was always reading wherever I could—but how the time goes, I had less and less time and mainly desire to read something. I think people are constantly changing, as their lives are; but I always found these changes a little hateful—they always shake with my vision of the future, present and myself. But I suppose it's natural and normal in some type of way, to change your time management and move from one stage of life to another. And there might be something really fun and interesting waiting for you in the next stage. Your post means a lot to me and thank you for writing it! Can't wait to hear more from you.
And yes, I agree - we change and our habits change. Circumstances change and our habits change. Life is change, yes? The only thing constant is change. And yes, change can be frustrating. Sometimes it's hard to let go of how things were - or how we want them to be. Pretty applicable to all parts of life!
Hi Jan, this post has made me feel so seen and heard. I wait for my email to buzz and for there to be at least one of the 30-odd substack's I've subscribed to, and then proceed to take out time to read each one. Much like you, my relationship with reading has changed dramatically in the last 6-8 months. Reading a book feels like a luxury. I read on my phone whenever I can, and I make it a point to read substacks with more concentration and dedication than I did before. There's something so heartwarming to be reading about how someone else thinks, how they go about their day, and what makes their life worth living for. I believe that there is magic in the mundane, provided you have the ability to see it.. to move through the weeds and see the treasure that lies beneath. So, thank you, for making me feel seen and heard through a post as simple as this one. Here's looking forward to your next piece, thank you. :)
Tanisha, I must admit your words have brought tears to my eyes. To be seen and heard - that's the nerve right there. I don't write so I can be seen and heard, I write (ideally, with the intention) to see and hear others, to reflect back. In one of my first college classes over three decades ago, an English lit teacher told us that the purpose of all art--all writing, music, painting and more--is to connect. And this reflects my ongoing love of the humanities: the mediums through which we acknowledge our humanness, our connectedness, and even celebrate our uniqueness though in many ways we are similar.
Magic in the mundane. What can also be called the sacred and the profane (tho that sounds much more religious and this is not my intention). The treasure not just beneath the weeds, but in the weeds themselves. There is no *other* - we are many many many faces of the same. Thank you for reading and for commenting. Thank you for being. (not being something, just simply and beautifully being) xo
Jan, thanks so much for mentioning “Italicus”--there’s nothing more powerful than that kind of validation. Your writing always comes from the heart, one reason I never miss any of your posts. The topic of home is both specific and vast, personal and universal--and thus has no horizons--and you find ways to approach it that often surprise me ( in a good way, of course). I too loved “The Sentence” (Erdrich is such a literary force), and given that, I’d like to suggest “Great Circle” by Maggie Shipstead. It’s one of those books you carry in your being for a long time. And if I may be so nervy, let me say that you *should* write to be seen and heard, because only then can you see and hear us. Writing and reading are equal parts of an equation; don’t minimize your part (please!). Looking forward to the next one!
Thank you, Cheryl. You are kind. And thank you for the book recommendation. I've just ordered it from the local library! It looks long but sounds like a story I would definitely enjoy. Currently reading Frankenstein, the Modern Prometheus (have never read it before!) and then Stoner by John Williams that came highly recommended. Do you know this one?
Yay for readers! We are experiencing a medium-change, just like the slow expansion of printing in the fifteenth and sixteenth centuries, and learning to stretch and adapt to the new medium: digital.
Shamelessly, I am going to refer to one of my posts, https://headscratcher.substack.com/p/week-4, wherein I muse on the purpose of reading. And yes, I still assign real books in my classes, though I'm sure many students opt for the digital version.
Thank you, Jeanne, for your response. I apologize for my tardy reply.
I love the acronym HAFTA! And I love that you still assign real books in the classroom. There's nothing quite like holding a book in your hand and writing in the margins. Then later taking down from a shelf and noting what stood out for you during the first reading. I'm not sure enough folks learned critical thinking and how to approach reading, however, as you describe, and that's a shame. It makes such a difference in understanding and enjoyment.
CJ, I apologize for not seeing your post earlier!! Not sure how that happened.
Thank you so much for your comment. No coffee needed - your response means more to me than money. I'm not sure exactly what you mean about help in navigating your 60s but you may find the Substack, seventysomething, to speak to you and the things you are experiencing at this time. https://susiekaufman.substack.com/ Susie is a former chaplain and writes soulfully about navigating this third chapter in our lives. Her posts are really good. If you like my writing, I'm sure you'll find tremendous value in hers.
Jan, I always look forward to reading your posts. I was hooked from the beginning on your home theme since I struggle with my own moves and how it home became a more loaded issue after my profound loss. I also simply enjoy the way you write and how its so relatable. I felt your angst along with you on some of your tougher shares. I loved being on your Italy house journey too. I am invested in you, as a person, and the writer. And yes-I am reading this on my phone. But I am reading a book almost monthly and savor that time, usually in the mornings to George Winston or Miles Davis vinyl records on my portable record player. My cat Sophie sits nearby. I just love a real book too. No kindle for me. But I am happy to read the substack by phone, though I am behind as you are. Its hard to fit it all in! I was so happy to see your shout out to me on my Blue sunflower! Thank you! Thank you from my heart. You reading my posts means a lot to me, and recommending me is-wow! Be well! 🙏
Thanks for being there
Thank you, Susan. I appreciate your kind words. And I am humbled. I have lost a lot of loved ones, both my parents and all my 'elders' - those who truly defined home for me - but losing a child, that is a profound loss all its own. I can only imagine how that has been for you. Thank you for taking me on your journey and for joining me on mine.
btw, George Winston and Miles Davis - two of my favorites!
Jan, I love your writing - your clarity, thoughtfulness, and authenticity, and the sheer beauty of your prose. When I began reading your newsletter, I was curious. How is it possible to run an entire newsletter on the subject of home, I wondered. So I began reading, and the more I read your writing, the more I loved it. Each new post brings new thoughts, new perspectives, and I enjoy that.
And I identify with much of what you write.
As for reading per se, that’s almost as essential to me as breathing. So this post, in particular, truly resonated with me.
And the best part? I have found a friend in you. ❤️
First of all, thank you for the shout out. My reading has changed a great deal in recent years. I used to read only fiction. And now it’s almost exclusively non-fiction --particularly memoirs and personal essays. On top of that, there are two Canadian newspapers plus the New York Times and several Substacks that compete for my interest every day. When I walk I listen to Podcasts. To be honest, it’s so much information that I don’t find it relaxing. I once did.
Alice, I can so relate to your last comment!! I think you summarized my dilemma! The cozy couch reading I long for is relaxing. It’s being swept away into a different world. While I enjoy all the substacks that I read, each is definitely grounded in this world and my reality. I care about the authors and their experiences. And then the news...
Interesting. Perhaps the struggle is not a new one- just disguised. Balancing my love and concern for others (tho *other* doesn’t exist, for the world then) with caring for myself. Always so much more difficult than we think.
Of course, I enjoy your content, but it’s the vehicle of your prose that brings me your content. Simply, I enjoy the way you write, it flows to me, it’s easy to read and illustrates your content. Keep truckin!
Phil
Thank you, Phil! I appreciate that. And I appreciate you.!
Jan,
Ah, the mention of lost parents and lost elders leads me to suggest a subject for your “Home.” I’ll be 83 in 60 days, my father died of a heart attack and when I was 35, my mother 6 years later, and now all elders are gone. We often talk of the grief at the time of those losses, and of the missing and the nostalgia of times gone by, but a wonderful friend and former boss who then lived in London wrote me a hand written letter of understanding at that time as he too had lost a father at a similar time in his life.
He observed an old saying which is still good and true in many facets of my life. He said, “A man (gender is irrelevant) doesn’t really become a man until his father dies.” A man then takes a mantel previously afforded only to those his senior. It comes to our shoulders, wisdom begins, responsibility is realized, new doors are opened as loss is accepted. It’s true to me even when the many of my pets pass, a new puppy soon appears. It does not diminish the loss but it certainly transfers a man’s relationship to the “bucket.” Another old boss observed to me when I received a business promotion into the “officer” rank of a public company, he said, “Phil, all of our employees need a place to set their bucket down. You are now a bucket stand. New doors were opened in both instances, they opened as they could not have before the loss. So, loss is a beginning, when grief resides, open the new door it afforded you! So I wax!
Phil
Your article is really speaking to my mind! In the past, I was always reading wherever I could—but how the time goes, I had less and less time and mainly desire to read something. I think people are constantly changing, as their lives are; but I always found these changes a little hateful—they always shake with my vision of the future, present and myself. But I suppose it's natural and normal in some type of way, to change your time management and move from one stage of life to another. And there might be something really fun and interesting waiting for you in the next stage. Your post means a lot to me and thank you for writing it! Can't wait to hear more from you.
M.
Thank you! I really appreciate your kind words.
And yes, I agree - we change and our habits change. Circumstances change and our habits change. Life is change, yes? The only thing constant is change. And yes, change can be frustrating. Sometimes it's hard to let go of how things were - or how we want them to be. Pretty applicable to all parts of life!
Yes, you're absolutely right!
Hi Jan, this post has made me feel so seen and heard. I wait for my email to buzz and for there to be at least one of the 30-odd substack's I've subscribed to, and then proceed to take out time to read each one. Much like you, my relationship with reading has changed dramatically in the last 6-8 months. Reading a book feels like a luxury. I read on my phone whenever I can, and I make it a point to read substacks with more concentration and dedication than I did before. There's something so heartwarming to be reading about how someone else thinks, how they go about their day, and what makes their life worth living for. I believe that there is magic in the mundane, provided you have the ability to see it.. to move through the weeds and see the treasure that lies beneath. So, thank you, for making me feel seen and heard through a post as simple as this one. Here's looking forward to your next piece, thank you. :)
Tanisha, I must admit your words have brought tears to my eyes. To be seen and heard - that's the nerve right there. I don't write so I can be seen and heard, I write (ideally, with the intention) to see and hear others, to reflect back. In one of my first college classes over three decades ago, an English lit teacher told us that the purpose of all art--all writing, music, painting and more--is to connect. And this reflects my ongoing love of the humanities: the mediums through which we acknowledge our humanness, our connectedness, and even celebrate our uniqueness though in many ways we are similar.
Magic in the mundane. What can also be called the sacred and the profane (tho that sounds much more religious and this is not my intention). The treasure not just beneath the weeds, but in the weeds themselves. There is no *other* - we are many many many faces of the same. Thank you for reading and for commenting. Thank you for being. (not being something, just simply and beautifully being) xo
Jan, thanks so much for mentioning “Italicus”--there’s nothing more powerful than that kind of validation. Your writing always comes from the heart, one reason I never miss any of your posts. The topic of home is both specific and vast, personal and universal--and thus has no horizons--and you find ways to approach it that often surprise me ( in a good way, of course). I too loved “The Sentence” (Erdrich is such a literary force), and given that, I’d like to suggest “Great Circle” by Maggie Shipstead. It’s one of those books you carry in your being for a long time. And if I may be so nervy, let me say that you *should* write to be seen and heard, because only then can you see and hear us. Writing and reading are equal parts of an equation; don’t minimize your part (please!). Looking forward to the next one!
Thank you, Cheryl. You are kind. And thank you for the book recommendation. I've just ordered it from the local library! It looks long but sounds like a story I would definitely enjoy. Currently reading Frankenstein, the Modern Prometheus (have never read it before!) and then Stoner by John Williams that came highly recommended. Do you know this one?
Frankenstein is a wonder! I haven’t read Stoner; let me know if you like it.
Yay for readers! We are experiencing a medium-change, just like the slow expansion of printing in the fifteenth and sixteenth centuries, and learning to stretch and adapt to the new medium: digital.
Shamelessly, I am going to refer to one of my posts, https://headscratcher.substack.com/p/week-4, wherein I muse on the purpose of reading. And yes, I still assign real books in my classes, though I'm sure many students opt for the digital version.
Thank you, Jeanne, for your response. I apologize for my tardy reply.
I love the acronym HAFTA! And I love that you still assign real books in the classroom. There's nothing quite like holding a book in your hand and writing in the margins. Then later taking down from a shelf and noting what stood out for you during the first reading. I'm not sure enough folks learned critical thinking and how to approach reading, however, as you describe, and that's a shame. It makes such a difference in understanding and enjoyment.
An almost forgotten art- reading
I always love to read what you have written
Thank you, Jeff. I appreciate that. And I appreciate you for reading - and commenting!