It seems that when we move away from home or in modern day America friendly neighbors became a thing of the past. Is it due to busyness, increased wealth, or simply minding oneās own business?
Iāve been in My hillside Berkeley California home for thirty years.
I discovered my former neighbors were upset with me putting a deck on my home after they asked zoning to build a 10ā fence between our property. It seems they felt violated when my graduate student tenant said hi to them. We fought back and the regulation 6ā fence was erected.
They sold and moved away gratefully. But before leaving they landscaped placing a number of trees along the property line that grew and ultimately obstructed my Bay view.
The current homeowners werenāt responsible but were willing to trim the trees with financial assistance from me. It didnāt help because trees grow and over time my view was lost again.
I considered eco terrorism but deferred. Instead I waited it out hoping they would sell before me and Iād pounce then. Patience paid off. A few years ago they removed a grand bay tree blocking my Bay view and just last week they took out a redwood planted in a 4ā wide alley between our property and their front door.
Now, I can wake to see the glorious views without hinderance.
Yet, we arenāt without conflict as the female parter will not speak to me due to misinterpretation of a statement I made about parking in the dirt turnout in front of our homes.
Space enough for 3-4 cars across the road from us, at the bottom of the hillside, I had to ask the City to speak to other uphill neighbors who had my car towed while parked there. These other hill neighbors were under the impression it was their property not City right of way.
After it was cleared up, one neighbor put posts up marking his property line 10ā from the road. It was a nice gesture at his expense.
I typically use my one car garage but itās great for guests and the public. For an unknown reason my lost view neighbors prefer parking there instead of their empty garage.
After the death of my daughterās father we had company from out of town. I emailed the neighbor asking to park in such a way as to accommodate more vehicles for this occasion but didnāt get a response. When I saw him getting in his car, I asked again to accommodate two more cars for the purpose of mourning our loved one. He said, āIāll think about itā.
Of course he continued parking in a way that would not accommodate our guests. Whatās there to say in this case? These are progressive folks with peace politics who sadly canāt have peace with a neighbor. I wasnāt surprised when a tree branch toppled onto their vehicle after a storm.
When I lived in California I knew all my neighbors up and down the street in both directions and they were all great. Now that I am on the east coast in a very international city, I know dozens of neighbors in my subdivision. Different groups of us have cookie parties, go out to dinner, ride horses, help each other, etc. When I got married 20 years ago and moved into my husbands house in Idaho, it was the only place Iāve ever lived where no one on the entire street would make eye contact, smile, respond, nothing. My next door neighbor dumped all his lawn debris in the public park across the street and neighbor kids batted balls into our garage door making huge dents. I occasionally had someone start pounding on my front or back doors at 2am but then disappear. They were either indifferent, hostile, or destructive. It was such a culture shock to live again somewhere that we are not invisible.
Jan, your stories here help us grasp the complexities of life and living. When I reflected on some of these happening I wonder what was/is going on in the minds of others! Such complexities.
Thanks for the intriguing story and image of the Spite House in Italy! I just learned about Spite Houses last week from a podcast about an author who wrote the 2023 gothic novel āThe Spite House.ā It all sounds fascinating and while I donāt typically read horror stories, I might have to give this a try!
The only real solution is to live aboard a boat. No lawn to care for. No septic system to worry about. And if the neighbors are nasty, haul anchor and sail away to another boatyard.
We have recently moved because of our horrible neighbors. We moved 150 miles away and have landed next door to absolutely fabulous neighbors. Sometimes it just isnāt worth hanging on. Fortunately for us it has turned out to be the best thing we ever did.
How interesting as always . Good neighbours are a blessing indeed
Iām sorry I only have good neighbour stories.
Very nice post.
It seems that when we move away from home or in modern day America friendly neighbors became a thing of the past. Is it due to busyness, increased wealth, or simply minding oneās own business?
Iāve been in My hillside Berkeley California home for thirty years.
I discovered my former neighbors were upset with me putting a deck on my home after they asked zoning to build a 10ā fence between our property. It seems they felt violated when my graduate student tenant said hi to them. We fought back and the regulation 6ā fence was erected.
They sold and moved away gratefully. But before leaving they landscaped placing a number of trees along the property line that grew and ultimately obstructed my Bay view.
The current homeowners werenāt responsible but were willing to trim the trees with financial assistance from me. It didnāt help because trees grow and over time my view was lost again.
I considered eco terrorism but deferred. Instead I waited it out hoping they would sell before me and Iād pounce then. Patience paid off. A few years ago they removed a grand bay tree blocking my Bay view and just last week they took out a redwood planted in a 4ā wide alley between our property and their front door.
Now, I can wake to see the glorious views without hinderance.
Yet, we arenāt without conflict as the female parter will not speak to me due to misinterpretation of a statement I made about parking in the dirt turnout in front of our homes.
Space enough for 3-4 cars across the road from us, at the bottom of the hillside, I had to ask the City to speak to other uphill neighbors who had my car towed while parked there. These other hill neighbors were under the impression it was their property not City right of way.
After it was cleared up, one neighbor put posts up marking his property line 10ā from the road. It was a nice gesture at his expense.
I typically use my one car garage but itās great for guests and the public. For an unknown reason my lost view neighbors prefer parking there instead of their empty garage.
After the death of my daughterās father we had company from out of town. I emailed the neighbor asking to park in such a way as to accommodate more vehicles for this occasion but didnāt get a response. When I saw him getting in his car, I asked again to accommodate two more cars for the purpose of mourning our loved one. He said, āIāll think about itā.
Of course he continued parking in a way that would not accommodate our guests. Whatās there to say in this case? These are progressive folks with peace politics who sadly canāt have peace with a neighbor. I wasnāt surprised when a tree branch toppled onto their vehicle after a storm.
When I lived in California I knew all my neighbors up and down the street in both directions and they were all great. Now that I am on the east coast in a very international city, I know dozens of neighbors in my subdivision. Different groups of us have cookie parties, go out to dinner, ride horses, help each other, etc. When I got married 20 years ago and moved into my husbands house in Idaho, it was the only place Iāve ever lived where no one on the entire street would make eye contact, smile, respond, nothing. My next door neighbor dumped all his lawn debris in the public park across the street and neighbor kids batted balls into our garage door making huge dents. I occasionally had someone start pounding on my front or back doors at 2am but then disappear. They were either indifferent, hostile, or destructive. It was such a culture shock to live again somewhere that we are not invisible.
Jan, your stories here help us grasp the complexities of life and living. When I reflected on some of these happening I wonder what was/is going on in the minds of others! Such complexities.
Thank you for these concepts. Pat
Thanks for the intriguing story and image of the Spite House in Italy! I just learned about Spite Houses last week from a podcast about an author who wrote the 2023 gothic novel āThe Spite House.ā It all sounds fascinating and while I donāt typically read horror stories, I might have to give this a try!
The only real solution is to live aboard a boat. No lawn to care for. No septic system to worry about. And if the neighbors are nasty, haul anchor and sail away to another boatyard.
We have recently moved because of our horrible neighbors. We moved 150 miles away and have landed next door to absolutely fabulous neighbors. Sometimes it just isnāt worth hanging on. Fortunately for us it has turned out to be the best thing we ever did.