Jan, There is no more miraculous gift than a writer can give than that of sense-making. I’m going to send to others—whether they are “friends,”“maybe friends,” “ chosen family” or however we fit with each others’ world for this moment… or longer… Just a beautiful, beautiful column❣️🙏❣️
Goldfarb could be right to a certain degree. Being appreciated and loved is a basic human need. And I think the point here is broader: it's about bonding and belonging. Friends who make us feel loved and appreciated signal to us that we are a unique piece in their existence. That we are needed. When we are needed, the chances of being abandoned, shunned, isolated, and therefore at higher risk to 'predators,' are very low. It's comforting and feels safe.
Oh! I love how you articulated that thought: “friends who make us feel loved and appreciated signal to us that we are a unique piece of their existence.” A unique piece of their existence - Yes! Beautifully said. Thank you.
And yes, I agree, these authentic relationships are so necessary to our safety. Feeling safe, being safe, is a huge part of home.
What a lovely and thoughtful post -- and thank you so much for mentioning our podcast! I'm grateful that others are coming to the same questions about our existing paradigms and limiting vocabulary. ("Kairos" has a good ring to it!) I also LOVE your comment about the familial roles that we are able to transcend within our "chosen families". That rings really true.<3
oh my goodness, I can't believe I missed this response! And yes, that's a big one, right? We are typically so locked in with our families of origin (the youngest, the oldest, the black sheep, and so on) and our roles within Kairos can be anything. Our origin families are sometimes stunned to learn who we are outside of that limited structure.
Jan, There is no more miraculous gift than a writer can give than that of sense-making. I’m going to send to others—whether they are “friends,”“maybe friends,” “ chosen family” or however we fit with each others’ world for this moment… or longer… Just a beautiful, beautiful column❣️🙏❣️
Oh Liz, thank you!
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Goldfarb could be right to a certain degree. Being appreciated and loved is a basic human need. And I think the point here is broader: it's about bonding and belonging. Friends who make us feel loved and appreciated signal to us that we are a unique piece in their existence. That we are needed. When we are needed, the chances of being abandoned, shunned, isolated, and therefore at higher risk to 'predators,' are very low. It's comforting and feels safe.
Oh! I love how you articulated that thought: “friends who make us feel loved and appreciated signal to us that we are a unique piece of their existence.” A unique piece of their existence - Yes! Beautifully said. Thank you.
And yes, I agree, these authentic relationships are so necessary to our safety. Feeling safe, being safe, is a huge part of home.
What a lovely and thoughtful post -- and thank you so much for mentioning our podcast! I'm grateful that others are coming to the same questions about our existing paradigms and limiting vocabulary. ("Kairos" has a good ring to it!) I also LOVE your comment about the familial roles that we are able to transcend within our "chosen families". That rings really true.<3
oh my goodness, I can't believe I missed this response! And yes, that's a big one, right? We are typically so locked in with our families of origin (the youngest, the oldest, the black sheep, and so on) and our roles within Kairos can be anything. Our origin families are sometimes stunned to learn who we are outside of that limited structure.