1 in 3 women are penetrated against their will. Men are pisssed off they cannot control us and we want something better than the lives they want us to live. Men need to work on themselves. They need to evolve. Religion needs to stop teaching women to submit to men and male authority and we are here to serve them and for their needs. Patriarchy.. Men controlling the world needs to cease to exist! It's evil and archaic.
PS…when will you be traveling back to Italy? I hope to go visit cousins in the Basque Country in Sept/Oct and then hop around via Eurail to visit family/friends in various parts of Europe betw/ Oct & January. Italy may be on the adventure route too, so let me know if you are over there then!
Thank you Jan! We always think that violence happens to other people but it may not affect us directly. Thanks for being brave and reaching deep into your inner female to free yourself. It’s time for Women to rule this planet!
yes, when I was divorcing my second husband, after he tried to hurt me, the officer was called by my father to our house, and told me I could leave--he did not ask my husband to leave who was being very mouthy to the officer. I moved out the next am. He continued to harass me at my father's house, sitting outside in his car, calling me, going to the door repeatedly and ringing the bell. He went to my work. He sent letters to my work. When I went to a lawyer, she said he writes letters like the Unabomber. He sent me cartoons with his own captions covering their captions. I was afraid to get a restraining order. He eventually left me alone and remarried........a lawyer......go figure. When I told his daughter to be careful who she was attracted to, she did not email me anymore. He kept my clothing, my family's xmas ornaments, a painting an old boyfriend drew me of my birds, and all my hs and college yearbooks. Still, I'm glad to be done with someone who thought he owned me.
Omg…huge congratulations to you both❣️What an amazing life adventure for you both on multiple levels❣️I think we’ve both sent txt msgs to each other in the past couple of years. If that is still your txt msg, send me a txt confirmation? I also have WhatsApp!
I am so worried about Veronica. I am so worried about the state of this country and the people who make the terrible decisions that can mean life and death for women, people of color, and every other marginalized group. It is 2023. I should not have to be worried about these things, but here we are.
I was in a psychologically abusive relationship for 2.5 years, but because it was never physically violent I did not know I was being brainwashed and abused. It took years of doing my own research as well as counseling to understand that that’s what it had been. When I wrote about and shared my story, I was floored by how many others (mostly women but a few men) had similar experiences. It is rampant and it is SO important to recognize the signs because if it hasn’t happened to you, you might not be able to see it until you’re in deep.
Those scars never leave you, but I’m proud of the decisions I made and that you made. They can be profoundly difficult. Thank you for sharing, and please keep us updated about Veronica if you can.
I read your column, and the comments on here and I just shake my head. First, because I cant believe men can treat other human beings like property. Second, because its just so common, yet like racism, it seems people just want to pretend it doesnt exist.
Keep speaking up. I cant imagine how hard it is to do so. But its only going to change for the better if its not swept under the public conscious.
I am not going to apologize for men, any more than I am going to apologize for white people being racist. But I am going to give you my thoughts, my strength, and my sense of fairness and justice.
I have said many times that we need far more women then men in leadership positions. Maybe its just because I have been around men behind the scenes more, where they feel free to talk. Just like being around racists who think because you are white you have the same ignorance they have, so they blurt out their stupidity.
But men spend way too much time thinking with their little head and way too little time thinking beyond themselves. And I am admittedly biased, but I think women just have a better sense of putting other people ahead of themselves. Maybe its just maternal instincts. Or maybe I am just an idiot. :)
The abuse of women is widespread but particularly high in Oklahoma. Recently we have been ranked as high as third in the nation for the domestic abuse of women. Our culture and the blaming of women for the abuse must be changed! Thank you for sharing your story.
As a breed, in my experience, they are usually sweet and loving dogs, unless they have been raised to be fighters.
Unfortunately, the reputation of the entire breed may be tainted by the example of those few, and most folks will proceed with caution when encountering any unknown pit bull.
A good idea in the interest of self-preservation.
I hope you see where I’m going with this.
Most men I know are caring and respectful.
It saddens me that those abusers among us make women overly cautious with our entire gender.
And it saddens me that I can’t tell you to trust us as a breed.
Sorry to be a few days late commenting, Jan, but I just wanted to say, well done. You were brave in your disclosure, and connected it to what is happening now, beautifully. I'm sorry for your experience and for your neighbors. I'm so glad there were folks in the community willing to help. I have a friend trying to leave an abusive marriage with her son right now and she has gotten very little support from the courts or law enforcement, which is horrible and wrong, to put it mildly.
I am so sorry that this happened to you. I lived through something similar with Emily. She had a boyfriend that was no good, couldn't and wouldn't keep a job, tried to go to Madison Techincal College to become something in the automotive industry and gave up because it was too hard. He didn't finish high school, so I paid for him to get his GED which he actually got. I let him live in my house so I could keep an eye on Emily and then when they had a fight one night and he pushed her up against the wall of the house, we had had enough and called the police. We got a restraining order and got her interested in someone else. It was a miracle that nothing horrible happened. I thank God every day for that. She has never told me all that she had gone through, but what she told me, he should go to hell. Something has to been done and restraining orders are not the only answer.
I’m so sorry to hear of these experiences. Sadly I’ve had some scary moments, as have virtually every woman I know. Women as chattel is still a thing!
1 in 3 women are penetrated against their will. Men are pisssed off they cannot control us and we want something better than the lives they want us to live. Men need to work on themselves. They need to evolve. Religion needs to stop teaching women to submit to men and male authority and we are here to serve them and for their needs. Patriarchy.. Men controlling the world needs to cease to exist! It's evil and archaic.
PS…when will you be traveling back to Italy? I hope to go visit cousins in the Basque Country in Sept/Oct and then hop around via Eurail to visit family/friends in various parts of Europe betw/ Oct & January. Italy may be on the adventure route too, so let me know if you are over there then!
Thank you Jan! We always think that violence happens to other people but it may not affect us directly. Thanks for being brave and reaching deep into your inner female to free yourself. It’s time for Women to rule this planet!
yes, when I was divorcing my second husband, after he tried to hurt me, the officer was called by my father to our house, and told me I could leave--he did not ask my husband to leave who was being very mouthy to the officer. I moved out the next am. He continued to harass me at my father's house, sitting outside in his car, calling me, going to the door repeatedly and ringing the bell. He went to my work. He sent letters to my work. When I went to a lawyer, she said he writes letters like the Unabomber. He sent me cartoons with his own captions covering their captions. I was afraid to get a restraining order. He eventually left me alone and remarried........a lawyer......go figure. When I told his daughter to be careful who she was attracted to, she did not email me anymore. He kept my clothing, my family's xmas ornaments, a painting an old boyfriend drew me of my birds, and all my hs and college yearbooks. Still, I'm glad to be done with someone who thought he owned me.
Omg…huge congratulations to you both❣️What an amazing life adventure for you both on multiple levels❣️I think we’ve both sent txt msgs to each other in the past couple of years. If that is still your txt msg, send me a txt confirmation? I also have WhatsApp!
I am so worried about Veronica. I am so worried about the state of this country and the people who make the terrible decisions that can mean life and death for women, people of color, and every other marginalized group. It is 2023. I should not have to be worried about these things, but here we are.
I was in a psychologically abusive relationship for 2.5 years, but because it was never physically violent I did not know I was being brainwashed and abused. It took years of doing my own research as well as counseling to understand that that’s what it had been. When I wrote about and shared my story, I was floored by how many others (mostly women but a few men) had similar experiences. It is rampant and it is SO important to recognize the signs because if it hasn’t happened to you, you might not be able to see it until you’re in deep.
Those scars never leave you, but I’m proud of the decisions I made and that you made. They can be profoundly difficult. Thank you for sharing, and please keep us updated about Veronica if you can.
I read your column, and the comments on here and I just shake my head. First, because I cant believe men can treat other human beings like property. Second, because its just so common, yet like racism, it seems people just want to pretend it doesnt exist.
Keep speaking up. I cant imagine how hard it is to do so. But its only going to change for the better if its not swept under the public conscious.
I am not going to apologize for men, any more than I am going to apologize for white people being racist. But I am going to give you my thoughts, my strength, and my sense of fairness and justice.
I have said many times that we need far more women then men in leadership positions. Maybe its just because I have been around men behind the scenes more, where they feel free to talk. Just like being around racists who think because you are white you have the same ignorance they have, so they blurt out their stupidity.
But men spend way too much time thinking with their little head and way too little time thinking beyond themselves. And I am admittedly biased, but I think women just have a better sense of putting other people ahead of themselves. Maybe its just maternal instincts. Or maybe I am just an idiot. :)
The abuse of women is widespread but particularly high in Oklahoma. Recently we have been ranked as high as third in the nation for the domestic abuse of women. Our culture and the blaming of women for the abuse must be changed! Thank you for sharing your story.
I’ll start with pit bulls.
As a breed, in my experience, they are usually sweet and loving dogs, unless they have been raised to be fighters.
Unfortunately, the reputation of the entire breed may be tainted by the example of those few, and most folks will proceed with caution when encountering any unknown pit bull.
A good idea in the interest of self-preservation.
I hope you see where I’m going with this.
Most men I know are caring and respectful.
It saddens me that those abusers among us make women overly cautious with our entire gender.
And it saddens me that I can’t tell you to trust us as a breed.
Sorry to be a few days late commenting, Jan, but I just wanted to say, well done. You were brave in your disclosure, and connected it to what is happening now, beautifully. I'm sorry for your experience and for your neighbors. I'm so glad there were folks in the community willing to help. I have a friend trying to leave an abusive marriage with her son right now and she has gotten very little support from the courts or law enforcement, which is horrible and wrong, to put it mildly.
I am so sorry that this happened to you. I lived through something similar with Emily. She had a boyfriend that was no good, couldn't and wouldn't keep a job, tried to go to Madison Techincal College to become something in the automotive industry and gave up because it was too hard. He didn't finish high school, so I paid for him to get his GED which he actually got. I let him live in my house so I could keep an eye on Emily and then when they had a fight one night and he pushed her up against the wall of the house, we had had enough and called the police. We got a restraining order and got her interested in someone else. It was a miracle that nothing horrible happened. I thank God every day for that. She has never told me all that she had gone through, but what she told me, he should go to hell. Something has to been done and restraining orders are not the only answer.
So many stories...thank you for sharing yours. Hugs.
❤️