You're now making me think of Kurt Vonnegut, who said frequently in his commencement speeches that we need more ritualized transitions into adulthood. Young people today might have some thoughts on the "house blessing," since many find themselves unable to add a mortgage to other debts. But it's a nice idea. I remember that as a significant milestone. In fact, my wife and I bought our house together before we were even engaged (less than a year after we first met). I'm still impressed that neither of our families gave us too much grief about it, since I would have some strong thoughts and questions if one of my children were to contemplate such a significant financial decision so early in a relationship. But we were both in our 30s, independent career people, and so I suppose we had already been adults for some time before we made that leap.
You're also making me think about how much baggage the word "adult" sometimes carries in the way of gender conventions or other socialized pressures. Men feel the weight of being a provider more as adults than as young people; women have to contend with other gendered expectations or inequities more in adulthood. No wonder some young people try to postpone adulting as long as possible :)
I love the idea . Rituals are so important because they are kind of commemorative in a way , especially certain milestone events of our lives otherwise everything becomes just another day and another event in our lives
This essay reminds me of this book: https://www.sashacagen.com/quirkyalone/ I bought it for myself and gave copies to my close girl friends in 2005ish, when we were all around 25, and I've always wished that more of the author's suggestions and thoughts for celebrating adulthood vs. marriage (this was particularly geared towards women, but doesn't have to be) should be paid more attention to. I'm glad you feel the same!
You're now making me think of Kurt Vonnegut, who said frequently in his commencement speeches that we need more ritualized transitions into adulthood. Young people today might have some thoughts on the "house blessing," since many find themselves unable to add a mortgage to other debts. But it's a nice idea. I remember that as a significant milestone. In fact, my wife and I bought our house together before we were even engaged (less than a year after we first met). I'm still impressed that neither of our families gave us too much grief about it, since I would have some strong thoughts and questions if one of my children were to contemplate such a significant financial decision so early in a relationship. But we were both in our 30s, independent career people, and so I suppose we had already been adults for some time before we made that leap.
You're also making me think about how much baggage the word "adult" sometimes carries in the way of gender conventions or other socialized pressures. Men feel the weight of being a provider more as adults than as young people; women have to contend with other gendered expectations or inequities more in adulthood. No wonder some young people try to postpone adulting as long as possible :)
Yes! I agree. I also wrote about this, this week.
https://open.substack.com/pub/ryanroseweaver/p/how-do-you-define-initiation
I love the idea . Rituals are so important because they are kind of commemorative in a way , especially certain milestone events of our lives otherwise everything becomes just another day and another event in our lives
This essay reminds me of this book: https://www.sashacagen.com/quirkyalone/ I bought it for myself and gave copies to my close girl friends in 2005ish, when we were all around 25, and I've always wished that more of the author's suggestions and thoughts for celebrating adulthood vs. marriage (this was particularly geared towards women, but doesn't have to be) should be paid more attention to. I'm glad you feel the same!