How much is enough?

How much space do you need? How much can you afford?

When I was young, I thought the coolest thing in the world would be to have a room in my home with a piano, guitar, plenty of percussion, and any other musical instrument I could find. It would also have plenty of couches and be the room where friends would hang out. Spontaneously, music would happen. And with music, naturally a general good time would ensue.

My idea for this kind of room was inspired by Herb Redemski. Mr. Redemski was an interior designer. He had a long sunken pool behind his house and several guest bedrooms where the bedspread and drapes matched the walls. There was fabric on the walls! This blew my 10-year-old mind. But the absolute best thing about his house was the music room. Not that I ever saw it used for gatherings of music, but the idea of it seemed soooo cool.

My nephew was lucky enough to have such a room. Not quite the same as my childhood vision, but pretty perfect for its purpose. He was lucky to have a dad who believed in the value of playing instruments. (My siblings and I all learned piano when we were young and another instrument we could play in church. My sister played guitar, my brother percussion and trumpet, and I played saxaphone and recorder.) So he had a music room with soundproofing custom-built in their basement. When your kid is a drummer and started with School of Rock at age 8, soundproofing a music room is practically a necessity. If you can afford the cost, that is. But as cool as this room was, when the last of the kids turned 18 and headed off to college, my brother and sister-in-law decided to down-size.

the music room in my brother’s former home

Down-sizing is the topic of this post.

I went from wanting a music room to the necessity of an office in my house. And plenty of space for bookshelves and books.  A guest room always seemed like a necessity as well until I had one for ten years and it was seldom used. When I ended up in an apartment in Tulsa, after selling my home in Picabo, I didn’t have a guest room. Which meant either I or a guest slept on a two-cushion loveseat a few times. Not ideal, but also not awful. Worse was not having space for group dinners. I pulled off a few book club brunches and a handful of meals with another person or a couple, and these were nice, but also not the same as a long table of friends sharing laughter and food.

Before moving back into an apartment, I became enamored with the idea of a tiny house. The kind that is no more than 400 square feet (typically smaller) and can be moved much like a mobile home. Let’s face it, tiny homes are the new mobile homes, except that mobile homes are much larger.

"the perfect tiny house" found on Instagram years ago

this was the first tiny house I'd seen with a full kitchen, a necessity to me

While tiny homes are big on style, they’re not big on space. I like the idea of tiny homes. I like the look of tiny homes. Especially once tiny homes moved past loft bedrooms with slanted ceilings and bathrooms that belong in an RV. Downsizing my wardrobe would be tough, especially if living where there are multiple seasons. But ultimately the reason I can’t see myself in a tiny home is the lack of space for books.

this tiny house can't be moved and the kitchen is awfully small but I do love this porch!

The American standard seems to be “more is better.” The kind of homes that most of us grew up in (a few bedrooms and only one bathroom) later became “starter” homes for one person or a couple. For the last few decades, it’s been expected that with time and a growing family, you would size up into more space, including a yard.

The recession of 2008 saw some folks downsizing but for as much as this word became part of our English vernacular, it wasn’t adopted by the masses. Then, in 2020, the exact opposite happened. Stuck at home during the pandemic, many folks traded their houses and apartments for much larger living areas.

Only now, the cost of housing is out of control. Which is why this week’s article in the Washington Post made me take note. Less money, less house: How market forces are reshaping the American home. According to author, Abha Bhattarai, the median size of homes today is at a 13-year low.  And how small is that? you may ask. 2,179 square feet. Is that small? Everything is relative. Apparently, the median new single-family home in 2015 was 2,450 sqf. Meanwhile, since 2020, median home prices have increased 28%. In four years!! The average home buyer today can expect to pay $418,000 for a home, which seems crazy since $400k is also the starting point for “affordable luxury” homes.

What do you think? What is your experience? Have you up-sized or down-sized in the last five years? Are you considering doing either in the near future?

Now I share a ~950sqf home with another adult and two dogs. I have my office and I have a guest room, but only one very small bathroom. (The guest room has already come in handy as I am currently sick yet again and my sleeping alone is best for all of us.) Honestly, this home is all we need. Sure, one bathroom takes a bit of getting used to but it’s not awful. (And not ideal when the toilet backs up, per my last post.) When the weather is good, however, we’ll have yard space as well.

What about you? What is the most important part of your house? What room or feature do you not want to be without?

Of course, our wants and needs change as we age.

A very dear friend since high school upsized about twenty years ago to a home with a separate wing for her folks. A few years after her father died, they downsized. Moving closer to the city, they found a much smaller charming place near the train station that had enough bedrooms for her and her husband, one adult daughter, and her mom. Now the one daughter has moved out and the other has moved in with her husband. On one hand, that seems tight (to me) and on the other, it seems perfect, so very much like homes of old where family -and generations - lived in close contact with each other. I love the idea of this.

I haven’t asked, but hopefully they have more than one bathroom.

what a charming tiny home cottage!

but there's no way I could navigate those stairs to the loft bedroom!