Festa di San Faustino

Vs. San Valentino - or - why Philautia must always come first

For the last 24 years, Festa di San Faustino has been a celebrated holiday in Italy, with its popularity growing each year. Sure, it was the invention of a single lifestyle site, and is probably best known in Bescia, the birthplace of San Faustino and his brother, Giovita, but most holidays are built on legend so why not?

Or rather, why?

The Ancient Greeks had eight words for love. Perhaps the most overlooked of these is Philautia: self-love, love of the self.

Romantic love gets all the attention, as crazy and manic as it can sometimes be. Movies, myths, and big business are built on the premise of romantic love. No wonder that it was predicted Americans would spend $27.5 billion on Valentine’s Day this year, with somewhere between 56 and 59% of of Americans celebrating. Presumably because they’re in relationships? Or they want to be. But what about the other 44%?

There is Galentine’s Day on February 13, which celebrates female friendships. Ok, cool. That’s fun. And I like this day because it doesn’t perpetrate the nonsense that another person - just one other person - completes us. Our friendships enrich our lives. As do romantic relationships and family. But to be complete, we must love ourselves first.

I’ve touched on this before, including in my post, Chosen Family and 9 words for love back in 2022. Here’s a quick definition that I pulled off the internet (because today that just seems easier & quicker):

The full quote, on deepstash.com, continues: “Philautia shares the Buddhist philosophy of “self-compassion” which is the deep understanding that only once we have the strength to love ourselves and feel comfortable in our own skin, will we be able to provide love to others. As Aristotle put it, “All friendly feelings for others are an extension of a man’s feelings for himself.”

Does anyone remember the TV series GLEE? In the 8th episode of the 2nd season, aired fifteen years ago, Coach Sue decides to marry herself. It was funny and odd, even to me. But then the idea caught on. In 2017, the BBC reported on Why growing numbers are saying ‘yes’ to themselves. Several years before that, Gringoros posted a video on YouTube about marrying himself. Not sure if this is just British humor but it is still poignant:

The following video is genuine. It answers common questions and offers a good synopsis of why, what, and how. Another one, featured on Dr. Phil, is much more sensational and too traditional (in my opinion and for my tastes). What they both share, however, is the desire to affirm & celebrate one’s worth and value, and a commitment to love oneself first.

At the 2:00 mark she recalls when she “got herself back and felt happy again”. I can relate to this experience, which is also noted in my Chosen Family post.

So, whether you’re single, married, attached, or solo - may you take some time today to celebrate yourself. Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Comfort yourself. Treat yourself. Do whatever you need to do to remember how incredibly special and precious you are.

Love you!