After a wedding, you are never really the same. Once we marry, a part of us is gone forever. Even as we embrace our new joined lives with joy, we need to honor what we leave behind.
Nice essay Jan! What I know I never choose would be too many hyphenated last names. After a couple of generations it would turn out to be Sue and John Smith-Jones-Gomez-Pavlov-Adams-Corder-La Salle-Aguilara. I think it’s an opportunity for creativity instead of picking one or the other name, choose something fun, like Sue and John Candelabra. Or Sue and John HarvestMoon, or Sue and John AthletesFoot. Then, it becomes a moot point, having nothing to do with gender, and more to do with the couple’s (perhaps wacky) identity. Lots more fun.
I think women should keep their maiden names. It is ridiculous to give up your name and take your partner's just on tradition. I also think women should be educated and be able to support themselves well, so that when they marry the family is the priority and people stay married because they want to create a home and family and neither partner has to be dependent on the other for money. Staying married because you cannot support yourself is not a good reason to stay married and yet, it is happening all the time. I love seeing how involved young men are now parenting (not baby-sitting) their children and sharing home duties. More classes on this type of living should be part of a high school education for all sexes. Women should not have to prioritize their home and family anymore than men. Equal pay, equal parenting, equal opportunity. Sexism needs to die. As people continue to live longer I believe more women will keep their surnames, at the very least professionally. So many people get divorced it is easier and less expensive to keep your own name ........ and that is something to consider, too.
Nice essay Jan! What I know I never choose would be too many hyphenated last names. After a couple of generations it would turn out to be Sue and John Smith-Jones-Gomez-Pavlov-Adams-Corder-La Salle-Aguilara. I think it’s an opportunity for creativity instead of picking one or the other name, choose something fun, like Sue and John Candelabra. Or Sue and John HarvestMoon, or Sue and John AthletesFoot. Then, it becomes a moot point, having nothing to do with gender, and more to do with the couple’s (perhaps wacky) identity. Lots more fun.
I think women should keep their maiden names. It is ridiculous to give up your name and take your partner's just on tradition. I also think women should be educated and be able to support themselves well, so that when they marry the family is the priority and people stay married because they want to create a home and family and neither partner has to be dependent on the other for money. Staying married because you cannot support yourself is not a good reason to stay married and yet, it is happening all the time. I love seeing how involved young men are now parenting (not baby-sitting) their children and sharing home duties. More classes on this type of living should be part of a high school education for all sexes. Women should not have to prioritize their home and family anymore than men. Equal pay, equal parenting, equal opportunity. Sexism needs to die. As people continue to live longer I believe more women will keep their surnames, at the very least professionally. So many people get divorced it is easier and less expensive to keep your own name ........ and that is something to consider, too.
"Whatever we try to hide or suppress will always manifest in another way..." Oh! wow! I faced this reality and left a relationship I had for years lol
I enjoyed reading this article Jan!
Thank you for emphasising that marriage takes work- I strongly believe in this.
So, is there like a grieving phase after the wedding? 😅